Incredible, Edible Raw Egg Mayonnaise

 Raw eggs have gotten such a bad name.  Some of this is with good reason, as industrial egg-production centers haven given raw eggs a very bad name with scary Salmonella and all. So, practicing a bit of food safety with regard to commercial eggs is not a terrible idea (actually it is not a bad idea in general) - but by food safety I don't mean bombing your kitchen and body with antibacterial cleansers because a dot of raw egg touched your finger and a part of the counter.  The hilarity of spraying a concoction containing who-knows what (because few actually list their ingredients, or if they do, they disguise the most noxious ones), out of a possibly aerosol container could keep me laughing longer than a broken chip basket given as a gift. What I do mean by food safety is common-sense stuff that you already do, so I won't list it.

Today will be a good way to gently place yourself into the world of using and eating raw eggs.  You can do it through a wonderful emulsion (see the last post for more on that), commonly called mayonnaise.

Raw Egg Mayonnaise*

- 1 egg yolk

- 1 cup / 240 ml oil (this can be any type**)

- a gentle throw of salt, sugar, and dry mustard

- a gentle splash of lemon juice and/or vinegar

The jingle, "Bring out the ----man's and bring out the best!"  would be better rephrased by replacing "the best" with "the worst" in the world of mayonnaise.  The mayonnaise that you can make at home with a couple of ingredients will be far superior (maybe not the first time) to anything that comes in a shelf-stable container.  By making your own mayonnaise you can 

1) ensure that superior ingredients are used

2) Actually know what those ingredients are

3) Start putting mayonnaise on everything you eat because of its beautifully chirpy taste.

All of these are worthy reasons to give this process a try.  

First, get your egg yolk separated from the white.  If you would like to drastically reduce the likelihood of Salmonella in your eggs, don't use the eggshell to separate the egg - use your hand or a egg separator (totally unnecessary, but good for those who don't like the feeling of egg).  Put it into a bowl with the dry stuff, and whisk the egg yolk while adding a splash of the acid element (lemon juice or vinegar).  This acid addition is your Salmonella insurance. Make sure all of the parts sans the oil have gotten to know one another in a truly intentional way.

This mixture is the philosopher's stone to your mayonnaise alchemy - it effects the transformation.  

Now, as with your bottom-rung dressing, add your oil, a few drops at a time, whisking heartily while doing so (also remember to grab a liverwurst and toast along with a whiskey sour beforehand as this involves a good bit of whisking).  Gently add more oil in an intentional kind of way, whisking all of the time, and never allowing the mixture to become clumpy-looking, or having oil pool on top.  Add and whisk until you get the white peaks of a beautiful mayonnaise, and all of the oil is gone.  Do not give up on this step, as the lead of cheap oil will become the gold of mayonnaise if you persist.  You can also do this in a blender or mixer to do this, but ask yourself - "Do I really want to be that kind of person?"***

Sometimes, the alchemy can be disrupted, and you can be left with a disgusting blend of whitish globules swimming in oil.  If this occurs, all is not lost - simply get a new egg yolk, whisk it, and add the globby mixture to it as you would oil in the first instance.  Things should come together for you.  

Finally, taste your mayonnaise, and adjust it as you would like.  Mayonnaise is a good place to practice flavoring - add acid for more chirp, sugar if things are a bit too chirpy for your taste, and anything else you would like (such as the classic "chipotle mayonnaise" or "wasabi mayonnaise" - for some reason having either of these on a sandwich in a restaurant  seems to  up the price by like 3 dollars).

* Consuming raw or undercooked foods can open your eyes to a new world of eating that many in the food establishment think you are too stupid to discover for yourself without contracting a food-borne illness.  

** The very best mayonnaise is made with olive oil.  However, this is one instance where I would suggest getting the hang of the process with a cheap oil and moving onto olive oil after you know what you are doing.  

*** No, you do not.